Problem 1: burning on urination, frequency, urgency, lower abdominal pressure, onset 1 day.

The focus of this post is going to be urine, antibiotics and Foley catheters. You were warned. Stop reading now if you think you're going to be grossed out, because I have no shame. Continue reading if you're a freak and enjoy popping zits, or picking your nose, or something equally gross that you would not want to publicly admit to. Don't lie, we all do it, and you know it gives you some sort of weird satisfaction.

ANYWAY, I've noticed trends of random crap happening lately. I know, that sounds really vague, let me attempt to put it into perspective: The post I wrote last night about texting, I have seriously had conversations with multiple people on that topic in the past couple of weeks, never really discussed it too much before, but all of a sudden it's been this hot topic. Urine related issues have also been trending big in my little world lately. 

People, particularly old people, get UTIs (urinary tract infections) all of the freaking time. Lately I've noticed that people's pee-pee issues have been a little more complex than usual. My first observation of this theory happened a couple of weeks ago when a patient came in with rigors, or chills/shakes from a crazy high fever. This guy's temperature was 106.5 (that's after liquid Tylenol and ibuprofen, 1 liter of fluid, getting him naked and packing his armpits and groin with ice packs) when he left the office via EMS. I freaking thought he was going to seize on us. ANYWAY he had pyelonephritis, or a kidney infection. URINE URINE URINE.

The next week this older lady came in with mental status changes. The person who influenced this post brought her back. ;) We ended up straight catheterizing her because she was not able to urinate, her urine was straight pus. Looked like freaking coffee creamer. We really should have put a Foley in now that I am thinking about it, oh well, sure they did at the hospital. Oh, I am not sure how many older women's junk you've personally seen, but umm, it's a little confusing. Things are not where they are suppose to be, just FYI. 

AND today I put a Foley in some old dude with BPH (benign prostate hyperplasia, or an enlarged prostate) AND last week I slapped one in a woman who had not voided in 10 hours after having a cystoscopy (endoscopy of the bladder). Dude, I've never seen urine pour out of someone so fast, poor lady. I've had this job for nine months, and in the last 2 weeks I've shoved more tubes up people's pee holes than I have the entire time I've work there!

It's an epidemic!

If you made it through all of that, here's the fun part of my post: I freaking have a UTI. I'm assuming my slightly excessive amount of beer consumption, plus my equally excessive amount of coffee consumption, you know to counter-act the next day effects of the beer lead to this. Freaking diuretics. Today was particularly bad. I did not go to sleep until 3am, had to be up at 6:45. Worked, busy as fuck. Had multiple cups of coffee, no water. Think I only took a pee break once until 4pm or so. That's when the dreaded urgency and burning hit me! Holy freaking crap, if you've never had one of these bad boys, it freaking sucks. You pee and as soon as you finish you feel like you have to go again. Oh, and it comes out in dribbles. Horrible. 

After the UTI discovery, I freaking started my period. TWO WEEKS EARLY. WTF. Get this, last week I had a yeast infection from all of the Doxycylcline (antibiotic) I've been taking for this stupid acne. I feel tainted. My junk is dying. I feel like shit. I have a low grade fever, my lower back is killing me, there is all this pressure in my lower abdomen, I keep running to the restroom every 10 minutes. FUCK.

Now taking Macrobid. Freaking expensive, $42 at Sweetbay. Oh, and Diflucan, going to kill off that yeast before it freaking grows out of control again. I've popped so many pills tonight, feel like I am going to puke. Also took acidophilus, cranberry extract, ibuprofen and Azo. Chugging water. So glad I am off tomorrow, hopefully I'm better before my dinner date with Heather and Sean. I've missed those two and I was really looking forward to hitting up downtown Deland. Wish the camera I ordered was here already, Deland is a cute old town and tomorrow would have made a good photo op. :( 

Enough rambling. Hope you enjoyed my pee story. LATERZ YO. Word.