And when you're holding me, we make a pair of parentheses.

It's update time, you can't touch this.

I am not sure if I was insanely hungry, but I just devoured this Lean Cuisine frozen Santa Fe style rice and beans. Oh em gee, I'm satisfied. My stomach is talking a little too much for my comfort though. :(

So, I know that was exciting news! This is even better: since September I have either worked both Saturday and Sunday OR Saturday or Sunday. That sentence does not flow well, but go with it. Here's the exciting stuff: I am off this weekend!

AND

I just don't know what to do with myself,
I don't know what to do with myself.

-The White Stripes 

Gotta make sure I keep up on my song references for Blake. :P


So yeah, I actually have a weekend that will not involve lavaging ears, accidentally splashing myself in the face with smelly UTI urine, OR getting boil juice on me. Right on. 


Ear lavages are probably the most dreaded thing to do at my job. I think everyone finds ear wax absolutely disgusting. Everyone probably, well hopefully, even finds their own ear wax disgusting.

Now imagine a complete stranger, male, 68 years old with hair all over his greasy ears and he tells you "I think my ears are clogged." Your stomach drops, you're hoping, praying, that when you take a look in his ears you see his pretty little ear drum staring back at you. You don't, instead you see a brown wall of wax were his ear drum should be. The next thirty minutes of your life are going to be spent in this man's ear. You put a smile on and prepare.


Pretty much you have to take a squirt bottle, fill it with warm water and flush out the ear canal. Refer to the photo to the upper left, "Elephant Ear Washer". Yummy. 


The photo to the right is a rather less disgusting example of what comes out of people's ears. Sometimes it is black as tar, or looks like popcorn kernels. We have these nifty little spoons to "dig" the wax out too. 


Anyway, I have the weekend off. Make plans with me. 

I've been listening to The Blow lately. You should too. 

Hey boy, 

Why you didn't call me?

I waited for days, 

I can't believe you didn't call.

And we, sat outside for an hour at the party and talked.

I thought something good could be starting,

It's not a lot that I want, just some talking.
Really you just injured my pride. 

-The Blow Hey Boy

I got rear ended the other day, and not in the good way. Har-de-har. My POS car now looks even more like a POS. Maybe, one day, I'll stop dropping money trying to make myself smart and get a new car. One day, but for now, I'm going to rock it out with my dependable, broken and bruised 2002 Hyundai Elantra. HI-yun-DAY.

That was my first legit car accident. That's my first car too BTW. My baby for the past nine years. I've driven across the country twice in that thing, it's gotten me home when I really should not be driving. XOXO car. Woot. 

Okay. Homework time. Break it down.