Ana VS Bella (along with various song references)

So, I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, today, and I am about 150 pages in. Apparently this book is a big deal and creating a lot of fuss and racket, so I decided I should investigate. It reminds me of Twilight. Ana is Bella and Grey is Edward. It's easy to read and get into, like Twilight, but maybe I have grown accustom to reading dry text books. :-/

Personally, I am a slightly bored with a story focused entirely on a relationship. The men feature in these bestsellers are easy to fall in-love with. What girl doesn't want a gorgeous, successful guy with a twist to fall for her. I am really overusing the italics function in this post. My apologies. Twilight had the same concept. Bella could not fall for Edward because he was different, bad, a vampire. Z-OMG.


Maybe my opinion is slightly biased, but I have fallen for fictional characters.  I had a huge crush on Inyusha, the half-dog-demon and Drizzt Do'Urden the dark elf from RA Salvatore's Icewind Dale Trilogy. If anyone knows of either of these characters, I heart you. Oh, and Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck. Ugh.

For some odd reason, Fifty Shades of Grey, made me want to listen to Jack off Jill, Super Sadist in particular. I am currently jamming out to Cumdumpster. Oh, My Cat. 


My Cat is amazing 
He can play the guitar 
He may not be an actor 
But he's a pussy superstar

I feel like I am 17. Oh, another song reference: They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21, you are no fun. Ladytron, anyone? 

My random ranting tangent has come to an end. I needed to throw all of those band references to prove to myself, and maybe others that I listen to music other than Regina. :)

For SALE: 2002 Hyundai Elantra

Are you looking for a reliable, well traveled vehicle? I'd like to offer a 2002 Hyundia Elantra to the highest bidder! This one of a kind car has taken the trek from Florida to California AND made it back. Pit stop in the Grand Canyon, made it though the great state of Texas in less than a day. Where else can you find such a well traveled vehicle?

Very recently the entire fuel system was replaced, there is a NEW driver's side door and fender. Which means the car is now bi-colored, oh and the clear coat is NOT pealing on the new door and fender. The back bumper is removable and there is slight bilateral bumper to bumper damage from a recent fender bender. 


As of tonight the car has been equipped with a custom tint job. There is no way possible you could pay for this, literally ONE OF A KIND!

FREE SNOW CHAINS are included with purchase! TWO NEW TIRES, two bald tires! One full sized spare! Three slightly bent rims, but ONE is in great condition. AC WORKS! CD player! Driver's side airbag is out of commission, passenger side in full working condition!

Please message me on Facebook or text me directly to start the bidding war!

If I wanted to die before I got old, I should have started some years ago digging that hole.

Well, it has been a while. I am three beers in, sleep deprived and in a self destructive funk, so blogging the night away is the obvious rational choice.

Where to start?

I have pseudomonas. It is a frequent cause of nosocomial infections such as pneumonia, urinary tract infections (UTIs), and bacteremia. Pseudomonal infections are complicated and can be life threatening. Quite comforting. 


My car decided to stop allowing me to put gas in the tank on Monday, oh and I had two ear infections. I have two ears, and that shit freaking blows. BUT the car has been repaired and the ears have significantly improved. 


Last semester I was inducted to UCF's honor society. This semester I can barely pass College Chemistry I. I had an exam this morning. I began cramming last night around 9pm, went to bed at 4am. Got up at 7am. Took the exam at 11am. Went to work at 12:30pm. Began blogging at 9:45pm.


The inability succeed in this class is making me sick. I'm not trying to whine or ask for pity, it's my own damn fault. 


I've been listening to Brand New's At the Bottom on repeat. I also really freaking love the song Somebody That I Used to Know, so fucking appropriate. 


You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.


On the bright side, I KNOW I have potential to have a successful future, and I will. If I woke up tomorrow and all of my worries and dilemmas vanished I'd be bored. I typically enjoy my slightly dysfunctional day-to-day life. I mean, tonight I had dinner with my father and he explained how the fuel system of my car works, or well, didn't work. Oh, dinner consisted of fried mushrooms, onion rings and Coor's Light. 


That's my story. I plan on waking up tomorrow bright eyed and bushy-tail and in a slightly less self loathing mood. Goodnight. Happy Thursday. 

NURSE PATIENT

Hola blogging/cyber world, oh and real world. I've been MIA since Sunday evening because I was dying. Friday I developed this icky cough at work, I was just like eh, whatever, I'm getting a cold. Saturday I had a low grade fever, I was still like bleh, whatever I have a cold. Went to bed around 7:30pm Saturday. Sunday I woke up with the tell-tale signs of a UTI. Awesome. Still had a fever. Did a urinalysis at work and good-God did I have a UTI. Got a script for Bactrim DS, took an Amoxicillin at work, went home and passed out. Called in Monday and slept all day, skipped class yesterday and slept all day.

SO, today I went to work. Thought it was all gravy baby. Apparently after 48+ hours of sleep I forget to eat and drink fluids. Oh, and the fever, duh. After an hour or so of actually putting forth more energy than it takes to shower, I started feeling really weird. Broke out into a clammy cold sweat and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. My pulse was 134 on the Sp02 monitor and apparently 130 manually. A medic started a line on me, in the break room, and I got a liter of fluids. Miracle fluids. Crazy how a little dehydration can hit you so hard. So I got to play patient today with a diagnosis of uncomplicated pyelonephritis.

Acute pyelonephritis is a potentially organ- and/or life-threatening infection that characteristically causes some scarring of the kidney with each infection and may lead to significant damage to the kidney. -Medscape

I did a repeat UA today and I am still pissing blood. AWESOME! Oh, this hacking cough and congestion have been icing on the cake. This post is being written under the influence of Hycodan and Benadryl, my apologies. 

In other hypochondriac news, I have myself convinced that I have multiple sclerosis. I think I may just be linking unrelated symptoms that point to MS, but I do not know. Here's my reasoning as to why I think I may have it:

1. Typically affects females and shows up in mid 20s. I'm a 25 year old female.
2.  Vitiligo can be a symptom of an underlying autoimmune disease. I have vitiligo and MS is an autoimmune disease.
3. The NUMBER ONE cause of trigeminal neuralgia is MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. I have trigeminal neuralgia. 
4. Tingling and numbness in your extremities is a sign of MS. My left foot was tingling for a week and I woke up a couple of times with bilateral hand numbness. 
5. Loss of balance and coordination are a sign of MS. I'm the biggest klutz you'll ever meet. 

I met a drug rep today who has MS. She was diagnosed when she went blind in one eye. She also has trigeminal neuralgia. I talked to her for a while and she said that she is typically only affected with the clumsiness and fatigue. She was happy and healthy, walking around in 4 inch heels and 20 years older than me. SO, hopefully if my suspicions are correct I'll be walking in her shoes one day.  

Hit me with the hipster hypochondriac comments! GO!

I'm going to paint my nails and pass out. Class tomorrow, then work, then work Friday and then work Saturday. Sunday cannot get here soon enough.

snow white is doing dishes again, cause what else can you do with seven itty bity men?

In an attempt to save my nails from my mouth, I've developed a great appreciation for nail polish. My appreciation has grown into a love and I have found myself spending $8 on bottles of nail polish with cute name like meet me at sunset or size matters. Size matters happens to be the exact same color as blood when it's in a collection tube. Sexy.

I took a nap in my car today. I was so beat from my weekend, so I passed out for an hour during my break between my Chemistry lecture and lab.

When I moved to San Francisco I fell in love with Sara Bareilles' Fairytale, mainly due to this verse:

Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore,
And she forgets why she came here.


Heard it today on Pandora, thank God Pandora finally got something right. If I hear Jason Mraz again I am going to throw my computer out the window.

Somehow throwing things reminded me of something that happened yesterday! I had a patient with a 104.1 fever, gave her Tylenol and a liter of fluids and her temp went up to 104.8 SO I was attempting to give 800mg of ibuprofen. In this attempt I somehow dropped the bottle of ibuprofen and somehow my phone jumped out of my pocket, landed on a pill, which it smashed into a pretty white powder. The smashing of this pill lead to a small crack in my screen! OMG, Not cool. Now I am kinda paranoid that the next time I drop my phone, this tiny crack will develop into an iPhone shatter screen. :( Exciting.

It's 1am. Goodnight.

And we are so fragile, and our cracking bones make noise.

Today was weird. Considering I spent most of it in my bed and in a dream state, there was not much time left to really accomplish much, except arguing with more than one person via text and contemplating my career.

It's quite amazing the different perceptions people can have of you. Funny, today alone these words have been used to describe me: bitch, over sensitive, passive aggressive, SHY, quiet, mess, socially awkward, defensive. In the past couple of weeks: intolerant of stupidity, misunderstood, quintessential personification of a hot mess, bitch, implying an elated sense of self, spaz, hipster. Oh, I forgot the classic: BOTG. Back when I had a tight knit group of friends, I acquired the nick name: the bitch of the group. 

I really want to elaborate, but I prefer being vague. :) Apparently I also have a wall, but obviously for good reason. I really do not feel like continuing on the path that I set out for when starting this relatively pointless entry, so I am going to stop while I am ahead and spare you of the self pity and self loathing.

There are a handful of people I'd love to tell off, but unfortunately I do not think they would even care. Maybe I'll delete this in the morning. Bye.

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess.
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

We are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable, girls and boys.

Let's go sailing, let's get a bite to eat.

It's 3pm on a rainy Wednesday and I just rolled out of bed 30 minutes ago. My bed sheets have that haven't been washed in over a month stench, my couch has turned into a dresser, and the counter in my bathroom has completely disappeared. I have chemistry homework due, I need to take 30 hours of continuing education hours before Monday April 30th at midnight to renew my nursing license. I am sure there are plenty of other things I need to accomplish, but I am not going to rack my brain to think of them.

Did I mention that today is my only true day off this week? I did manage to accomplish, one thing today: I paid $85 to become a member of The University of Central Florida's chapter of The National Society of Leadership and Success. Hopefully that was a good investment. Oh, and in the middle of typing that last sentence I realized that I had a check to deposit for the repairs to my car after getting rear ended a couple of months ago, so I got off my ass, drove to the bank and deposited that bitch.  On that topic, if you're ever in an accident do not attempt to handle the ordeal privately, go through insurance.

Here's my explanation as to why: I had the damage on my car estimated by two different places and picked up a copy of the crash report and mailed to to the guy who hit me. He was not too happy with the cost of the repairs and replied with this in an email:

Hello Lisa, 

Thank you for sending me the packet of information.  I just returned from volunteering in Haiti so I am sorry for the delay in my response.  I was giving shoes out to orphans while in Haiti.  The devastation is still incredible, two years after the earthquake.

He proceeded to request that I drive to Orlando to Maaco to get a third estimate, which I refused and informed him that if I did not receive a check for the damage that I would pursue the matter with his insurance company.

Click on the photo to the left. Apparently everyone thinks I'm  an uber bitch. Woot.

There are quite a few stories that I'd love to post about, just because of the complete absurdity of the situations and the humor they provide, but those topics are flirting with the degree of private information that I'd like to share on the world wide web. :) Anyway, I think I've postponed being a functioning member of society long enough today. Toodles.

I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about New Year's Eve.

I slept through the ball drop and the midnight toasts. I worked yesterday, and the day before, and the day before the day before. Friday was a day from hell, and the other two sucked due the the massive amount of patients we saw and incompetent or crying coworkers.

I worked in The Villages yesterday. It's a bit of a hike from Umatilla, so I had a nice long car ride home to think. I called my dad and invited him out to dinner. He declined. REALLY? That kind of set my mood to sour.

Instead I came home, drank of couple glasses of Cabernet and ate frozen pizza. I attempted to devise a plan to run away for the evening, but apparently Orbitz and Hotwire want you to plan your trip at least 48 hours in advance.

So I opted to stay in and sleep through the festivities. Despite the fact that I did absolutely nothing last night, I have to admit that it outweighed the past couple of New Year's Eves I was awake for.

Last year I had just moved back from San Francisco and my fairy-tale idealization of my life was crumbing. Went out with some friends, got all dressed up, sipped on champagne, and managed to get into fights with numerous people. Went to bar in Mt. Dora and got into a fight with the bartender because I would not pour out my water, and I yelled at my sister's boyfriend for his musical taste. On the way home I was kicked out of my own car and had to walk home, only to discover that the person who had kicked me out of the car had drunkenly left and turned off his phone. I spent the rest of my night searching for said person. Awesome way to bring in 2011.

I rolled in 2010 wiping ass at LRMC. I was working nights, in nursing school, worked as a nurse tech, which pretty much translates to CNA. I think I was literally cleaning up shit as the clock stoke midnight that year. I came home to random people passed out on my couches and beer bottles everywhere. Sour beer smells awesome at 8am after you've been working all night.

Instagram is a cool iPhone app. Thanks JessFav! :)

I really cannot remember the years prior to the past two. I think I was working at LRMC when the year changed from 2008 to 2009 too, but before that I kind of have a mental block on everything.

My bitching about New Years past was interrupted by a phone call and now I'm going to go on a run. Thanks bye.