ALONE: (adjective) separated from others: ISOLATED

Disclaimer: If you are looking for something profound or deep, please discontinue your search (if you decide to continue reading.)

If you are still with me, you probably ended up on this page by clicking on a link that I posted to Facebook, so you may already be aware of everything you are about to read. Now that you have been forewarned of this repetitive possibility, you may want to consider discontinuing your search for something new and interesting. 

Lately my life has consisted of the following (if you have seen Requiem for a Dream, reference the lonely mother, minus the diet pill addiction): Wake up. COFFEE. COFFEE. COFFEE. Make coffee. Drink coffee. Facebook. Instagram. Make bed. Clean. Text. Text. Text. Facebook. Instagram. Read. Read. Read. Eat. Charge iPad. Paint nails. Music. Music. Podcast. Podcast. Text. Text. Text. Water urban garden. Express.com. Shower. Check mail. Television. Stretch. Text. Text. Phone call. Order delivery. Eat. Argue. Wine. Attempt to sleep. Move to couch. Modcloth.com. Chelsea Lately. Jimmy Fallon. Facebook. Instagram. ASOS.com. Read. Read. 3:00am. Melatonin. Benadryl. Sleep. Wake up. COFFEE. COFFEE. COFFEE.

That has been my life since March 12th, 2013. Throw in a couple of dinners out and the rare days Jeremy has off, only then is my repetitive routine switched up.

I broke my tibia January 2nd or 3rd 2013 and walked/worked on it for 3 months. People love to ask "Did it hurt?" To which I would love to reply "Of course it did, I BROKE MY DAMN LEG!" BUT my response is usually some explanation of how I was aware of every step I would took, there was extensive swelling of my knee joint for over a month, the stability of the joint was compromised, and I would have episodes of severe electrical-like-pain followed by a buckling of the joint . I was not in enough pain to cease my daily activities, although at the time of the incident it was the worst pain I have ever had in my life, but I still managed to ski down the rest of the mountain. Yes, I am a bad ass. (Or a psychopath who cannot feel pain.)

Point of this post: (I tend to get lost in my tangents, but an explanation to what lead up to my point, seems appropriate.) I have been spending A LOT of time alone. To the point that I prefer being alone, but I also feel that it is driving me insane as well. I have gained 12-13 pounds, due to forced inactivity. I go days without leaving the house or changing out of PJs. I communicate with others via text and Facebook. I see that boy (the one who's couch I have set up camp on) for 2 hours each night before he goes to bed. I feel like I hate socializing more than I used to. I have NOT had the time of my life. I AM looking forward to going back to work and getting my life back. 

That's all for now. (Typing this from my iPad, with a keyboard device.) Apparently my laptop is up and running!! :) Backstory: I cracked the screen, got a virus, took it too a repair shop-they deleted EVERYTHING and put on a hacked version of windows. Not cool. Tangent. 

Ana VS Bella (along with various song references)

So, I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, today, and I am about 150 pages in. Apparently this book is a big deal and creating a lot of fuss and racket, so I decided I should investigate. It reminds me of Twilight. Ana is Bella and Grey is Edward. It's easy to read and get into, like Twilight, but maybe I have grown accustom to reading dry text books. :-/

Personally, I am a slightly bored with a story focused entirely on a relationship. The men feature in these bestsellers are easy to fall in-love with. What girl doesn't want a gorgeous, successful guy with a twist to fall for her. I am really overusing the italics function in this post. My apologies. Twilight had the same concept. Bella could not fall for Edward because he was different, bad, a vampire. Z-OMG.


Maybe my opinion is slightly biased, but I have fallen for fictional characters.  I had a huge crush on Inyusha, the half-dog-demon and Drizzt Do'Urden the dark elf from RA Salvatore's Icewind Dale Trilogy. If anyone knows of either of these characters, I heart you. Oh, and Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck. Ugh.

For some odd reason, Fifty Shades of Grey, made me want to listen to Jack off Jill, Super Sadist in particular. I am currently jamming out to Cumdumpster. Oh, My Cat. 


My Cat is amazing 
He can play the guitar 
He may not be an actor 
But he's a pussy superstar

I feel like I am 17. Oh, another song reference: They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21, you are no fun. Ladytron, anyone? 

My random ranting tangent has come to an end. I needed to throw all of those band references to prove to myself, and maybe others that I listen to music other than Regina. :)

For SALE: 2002 Hyundai Elantra

Are you looking for a reliable, well traveled vehicle? I'd like to offer a 2002 Hyundia Elantra to the highest bidder! This one of a kind car has taken the trek from Florida to California AND made it back. Pit stop in the Grand Canyon, made it though the great state of Texas in less than a day. Where else can you find such a well traveled vehicle?

Very recently the entire fuel system was replaced, there is a NEW driver's side door and fender. Which means the car is now bi-colored, oh and the clear coat is NOT pealing on the new door and fender. The back bumper is removable and there is slight bilateral bumper to bumper damage from a recent fender bender. 


As of tonight the car has been equipped with a custom tint job. There is no way possible you could pay for this, literally ONE OF A KIND!

FREE SNOW CHAINS are included with purchase! TWO NEW TIRES, two bald tires! One full sized spare! Three slightly bent rims, but ONE is in great condition. AC WORKS! CD player! Driver's side airbag is out of commission, passenger side in full working condition!

Please message me on Facebook or text me directly to start the bidding war!

If I wanted to die before I got old, I should have started some years ago digging that hole.

Well, it has been a while. I am three beers in, sleep deprived and in a self destructive funk, so blogging the night away is the obvious rational choice.

Where to start?

I have pseudomonas. It is a frequent cause of nosocomial infections such as pneumonia, urinary tract infections (UTIs), and bacteremia. Pseudomonal infections are complicated and can be life threatening. Quite comforting. 


My car decided to stop allowing me to put gas in the tank on Monday, oh and I had two ear infections. I have two ears, and that shit freaking blows. BUT the car has been repaired and the ears have significantly improved. 


Last semester I was inducted to UCF's honor society. This semester I can barely pass College Chemistry I. I had an exam this morning. I began cramming last night around 9pm, went to bed at 4am. Got up at 7am. Took the exam at 11am. Went to work at 12:30pm. Began blogging at 9:45pm.


The inability succeed in this class is making me sick. I'm not trying to whine or ask for pity, it's my own damn fault. 


I've been listening to Brand New's At the Bottom on repeat. I also really freaking love the song Somebody That I Used to Know, so fucking appropriate. 


You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.


On the bright side, I KNOW I have potential to have a successful future, and I will. If I woke up tomorrow and all of my worries and dilemmas vanished I'd be bored. I typically enjoy my slightly dysfunctional day-to-day life. I mean, tonight I had dinner with my father and he explained how the fuel system of my car works, or well, didn't work. Oh, dinner consisted of fried mushrooms, onion rings and Coor's Light. 


That's my story. I plan on waking up tomorrow bright eyed and bushy-tail and in a slightly less self loathing mood. Goodnight. Happy Thursday. 

NURSE PATIENT

Hola blogging/cyber world, oh and real world. I've been MIA since Sunday evening because I was dying. Friday I developed this icky cough at work, I was just like eh, whatever, I'm getting a cold. Saturday I had a low grade fever, I was still like bleh, whatever I have a cold. Went to bed around 7:30pm Saturday. Sunday I woke up with the tell-tale signs of a UTI. Awesome. Still had a fever. Did a urinalysis at work and good-God did I have a UTI. Got a script for Bactrim DS, took an Amoxicillin at work, went home and passed out. Called in Monday and slept all day, skipped class yesterday and slept all day.

SO, today I went to work. Thought it was all gravy baby. Apparently after 48+ hours of sleep I forget to eat and drink fluids. Oh, and the fever, duh. After an hour or so of actually putting forth more energy than it takes to shower, I started feeling really weird. Broke out into a clammy cold sweat and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. My pulse was 134 on the Sp02 monitor and apparently 130 manually. A medic started a line on me, in the break room, and I got a liter of fluids. Miracle fluids. Crazy how a little dehydration can hit you so hard. So I got to play patient today with a diagnosis of uncomplicated pyelonephritis.

Acute pyelonephritis is a potentially organ- and/or life-threatening infection that characteristically causes some scarring of the kidney with each infection and may lead to significant damage to the kidney. -Medscape

I did a repeat UA today and I am still pissing blood. AWESOME! Oh, this hacking cough and congestion have been icing on the cake. This post is being written under the influence of Hycodan and Benadryl, my apologies. 

In other hypochondriac news, I have myself convinced that I have multiple sclerosis. I think I may just be linking unrelated symptoms that point to MS, but I do not know. Here's my reasoning as to why I think I may have it:

1. Typically affects females and shows up in mid 20s. I'm a 25 year old female.
2.  Vitiligo can be a symptom of an underlying autoimmune disease. I have vitiligo and MS is an autoimmune disease.
3. The NUMBER ONE cause of trigeminal neuralgia is MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. I have trigeminal neuralgia. 
4. Tingling and numbness in your extremities is a sign of MS. My left foot was tingling for a week and I woke up a couple of times with bilateral hand numbness. 
5. Loss of balance and coordination are a sign of MS. I'm the biggest klutz you'll ever meet. 

I met a drug rep today who has MS. She was diagnosed when she went blind in one eye. She also has trigeminal neuralgia. I talked to her for a while and she said that she is typically only affected with the clumsiness and fatigue. She was happy and healthy, walking around in 4 inch heels and 20 years older than me. SO, hopefully if my suspicions are correct I'll be walking in her shoes one day.  

Hit me with the hipster hypochondriac comments! GO!

I'm going to paint my nails and pass out. Class tomorrow, then work, then work Friday and then work Saturday. Sunday cannot get here soon enough.

snow white is doing dishes again, cause what else can you do with seven itty bity men?

In an attempt to save my nails from my mouth, I've developed a great appreciation for nail polish. My appreciation has grown into a love and I have found myself spending $8 on bottles of nail polish with cute name like meet me at sunset or size matters. Size matters happens to be the exact same color as blood when it's in a collection tube. Sexy.

I took a nap in my car today. I was so beat from my weekend, so I passed out for an hour during my break between my Chemistry lecture and lab.

When I moved to San Francisco I fell in love with Sara Bareilles' Fairytale, mainly due to this verse:

Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore,
And she forgets why she came here.


Heard it today on Pandora, thank God Pandora finally got something right. If I hear Jason Mraz again I am going to throw my computer out the window.

Somehow throwing things reminded me of something that happened yesterday! I had a patient with a 104.1 fever, gave her Tylenol and a liter of fluids and her temp went up to 104.8 SO I was attempting to give 800mg of ibuprofen. In this attempt I somehow dropped the bottle of ibuprofen and somehow my phone jumped out of my pocket, landed on a pill, which it smashed into a pretty white powder. The smashing of this pill lead to a small crack in my screen! OMG, Not cool. Now I am kinda paranoid that the next time I drop my phone, this tiny crack will develop into an iPhone shatter screen. :( Exciting.

It's 1am. Goodnight.

And we are so fragile, and our cracking bones make noise.

Today was weird. Considering I spent most of it in my bed and in a dream state, there was not much time left to really accomplish much, except arguing with more than one person via text and contemplating my career.

It's quite amazing the different perceptions people can have of you. Funny, today alone these words have been used to describe me: bitch, over sensitive, passive aggressive, SHY, quiet, mess, socially awkward, defensive. In the past couple of weeks: intolerant of stupidity, misunderstood, quintessential personification of a hot mess, bitch, implying an elated sense of self, spaz, hipster. Oh, I forgot the classic: BOTG. Back when I had a tight knit group of friends, I acquired the nick name: the bitch of the group. 

I really want to elaborate, but I prefer being vague. :) Apparently I also have a wall, but obviously for good reason. I really do not feel like continuing on the path that I set out for when starting this relatively pointless entry, so I am going to stop while I am ahead and spare you of the self pity and self loathing.

There are a handful of people I'd love to tell off, but unfortunately I do not think they would even care. Maybe I'll delete this in the morning. Bye.

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess.
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

We are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable, girls and boys.